Saudade 3- Tantra and Relationships
Arrived in Orba waiting to check into the apartment I would be staying in for the weekend. Pablo and Cesar made sure I found the location. Meanwhile, we waited on Tantra practitioners to arrive and give me keys. Some thoughts crossed my mind in these moments of suspense and not knowing what was next. I found the unknown at this moment to be incredibly exciting. I finally felt I was doing something that I truly had wanted to explore for a long time. But again, it’s not the norm in the Scottish society where I come from although it is the most natural process you can take part in. In fact, it still surprises me to hear some people still think in our supposedly modern society that there is something wrong with massage. In Thailand the doctor will send you to hospital for massage if you have body difficulties instead of giving you pills. It is part of their natural health system.
Our society teaches us not to show our feelings, just get on with it and the suppression causes many problems within peoples bodies. Many years of blocks preventing most people from truly reaching their potential and living life fully. During my travels I have ask this question of many people and the response is always the same.
“What would your ideal life be like if it wasn’t about money?”
Amazingly most answers are the opposite of how they are living In terms of work, food, social life, where they live and most of all their relationship. This is the frightening one. They would not be in the relationship they are in, whether they be married or living together. It is astonishing that so much of the population live in this way. No matter the culture or country this is what I repeatedly hear. So many couples living in a bad way with each other and in a routine that they don’t like but tell themselves “it’s because we have kids” amongst many other excuses. We have all done this in some way in our lives. We blame many things for lack of fulfilment. But, there is a huge blocker for many people that is an extremely difficult one to break. Religion. The guilt and shame associated with this is overwhelming and completely destroys many relationships and sex lives and unfortunately in the end no one has any idea of what intimacy means. I have witnessed many people suffer badly because of this in many parts of the world including my own country.
However, this is a very huge topic worth exploring in another blog. Buying into some ‘rules’ regarding sex and intimacy that that some religious person decided somewhere along the line that this was the proper way to be to be accepted in society. Therefore, we have priests having to have secret sex lives and live with shame of ever having anything intimate with other adults (which is a natural life process otherwise we would not have pleasure spots would we?). There is FGM practice which removes a woman’s ability to have pleasure, and we have couples everywhere frightened to tell their partners what they would really like to explore in their life, in fact, they actually don’t know one another and have never discussed sex despite having a handful of kids. And there are people who have had their innocence taken away therefore living with the thought that sex or intimacy is wrong and harmful distorting the view completely. No one is allowed to be honest for fear of rejection and isolation. Anyway, I am off on a tangent but I am just ‘tipping’ the iceberg with you giving just a few examples of how our society and many religions have designed much of these problem. The most natural thing in the world….INTIMACY..has been made unnatural and forbidden in many ways.
However, I was not going to allow anything to block my path anymore, no way. This was my very own life, no one else’s and it took me a long time to realise this. Wooooohooooo, so what was going to be in store for me at this beautiful place I was now about to have the pleasure of experiencing. I was not apprehensive in the slightest. It felt appropriate, exciting and I was on the verge of truly finding out a lot more about myself in more ways than one I guess. My safety net of Pablo and Cesar was about to leave. They would leave me here now that they knew I was in safe hands and collect me in a few days.
Peggy Sue might never be the same again.